If you’re struggling with depression, you might be self-isolating. Social withdrawal is a common symptom of depression, and it’s a tough hurdle to overcome. When you’re depressed, social isolation can feel comforting or even protective. Even if part of you longs to open up to someone who understands, it’s easier to continue spending time alone, which shields you from judgment and criticism. You’re in a vulnerable state, and the idea of reaching out for connection can seem nerve-wracking.
Understanding why isolating feels so tempting when you’re depressed is the first step towards breaking out of this cycle. Let’s explore the link between self-isolation and depression, and how you can start socializing again.
The Lies Depression Tells
Depression is a liar, but when you’re living under the fog of this condition, it’s all too easy to accept everything you believe as truth. The distorted thinking that accompanies depression can convince you that your presence is a burden to others. This belief pushes you to withdraw, and you might feel like this is the only way you can exist without bringing other people down.
But this thought is just a symptom of depression, not reality. Chances are, your loved ones miss you, and they want to know how they can help.
Low Energy
Many people with depression suffer from low energy levels. No matter how much sleep you get, or how many hours you spend in bed, you never feel refreshed. Just getting out of bed can feel exhausting, and the idea of leaving the house seems downright impossible.
Even if you’re genuinely interested in a social event, you might not have the capacity to attend. Practice self-compassion, and consider incorporating small amounts of socialization into your day, like going to the grocery store or reading at a coffee shop.
Shame and Self-Criticism
Depression can leave you spiraling with self-judgment. On bad days, you might feel ashamed of practically every aspect of your being. You’re plagued by a sense of unworthiness. Therefore, you want to avoid social exposure, fearing that everyone will notice your negative qualities. But in the long run, isolating actually reinforces these painful beliefs, keeping you trapped in a painful cycle.
The Emotional Drain of Social Interactions
When you do manage to work up the courage to socialize, you end up quickly feeling drained. After a few minutes of making small talk and catching up with people you haven’t seen in a while, you catch yourself looking for the exit.
In the midst of a depressive episode, any amount of socializing can feel overstimulating or emotionally taxing. If you try to retreat and say an early goodbye, you might worry that people will view you as rude. In fact, you’re just trying to conserve your emotional resources. At times like this, low-stakes interactions can feel more comfortable, like texting or calling one friend at a time.
Isolation Becomes a Habit
If you’ve been living with depression for a while, isolation might feel like a habit that you just can’t quit. The longer you isolate, the harder it is to engage with the world again. While isolation can seem safe, being alone can also reinforce your sense of hopelessness and keep you stuck in negative thought loops.
Taking small steps towards connection can spark change. Saying hello to someone on the street, stopping by the farmer’s market on a Saturday morning, or writing a letter to a friend might lift your spirits.
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If you’ve been isolating yourself, talking to a depression counselor could be the first step towards rebuilding your support system. We invite you to connect with our practice to learn more about our counseling options — we’re here to help.