The postpartum period can feel overwhelming in ways you never expected. Between sleepless nights, physical recovery, and adjusting to life with a baby, it's common to feel like you're drowning. You might feel like your partner doesn’t know how to help you with postpartum depression, but you aren’t meant to go through this alone.
Asking your partner for support is an important part of recovery and well-being, and it’s an opportunity to build teamwork during one of life’s most challenging transitions. Clear communication with your partner can make all the difference in how you both experience this transition. When you’re specific about what you need and honest about how you’re feeling, you give your partner the chance to truly support you.
Be Honest and Specific About What You Need
Start by being direct about your feelings instead of keeping them inside. If you’re feeling exhausted, anxious, or overwhelmed, share those emotions with your partner. What seems obvious to you may not be clear to them.
Replace vague requests like “I need help” with specifics: “I’m anxious about the baby’s feeding schedule, and I need you to take over the 2 a.m. feeding so I can get some uninterrupted sleep.” Clarity makes it easier for your partner to respond.
Ask for Rest and Practical Support
Sleep deprivation magnifies stress. Ask your partner to split night duties or cover early mornings so you can recover. For example, you might say, “Can you handle the baby from midnight to 6 a.m.? I’ll take the evening shift.”
Sharing household responsibilities also matters. Encourage your partner to take over chores like cooking or grocery shopping to lighten your load.
Don’t forget that you deserve some true downtime, too! Make time for yourself by being upfront with your partner about needing space for self-care, even if it’s just a short walk or shower without interruption.
Overall, aim to work together to create a support plan that outlines who does what with the baby and around the house. You can adjust it as your needs change.
Keep Communication Open
Check in with each other regularly. This doesn’t have to be a formal meeting. It can happen during quiet moments while the baby sleeps.
Sometimes, you just need someone to listen without trying to fix everything. Let your partner know when that’s the case. It’s okay to share that you just want to express some frustrations while your partner listens.
Seek External Help Together
If you’re considering therapy or other professional support, involve your partner in the decision. Including them in the process can strengthen your relationship.
You can invite your partner to join you for doctor’s visits or therapy sessions so they can better understand what you’re experiencing. They can also help by reminding you of appointments, watching the baby, or encouraging you as you seek care.
What If Your Partner Struggles to Understand?
If your partner minimizes your feelings, calmly restate that your needs are valid. You might explain that even though these situations are new to you both, and it’s normal to need time to adjust, you still need your partner to take your concerns seriously and help you find solutions.
It’s also okay to seek support elsewhere. If your partner isn’t fully understanding, or if you simply need more than one person can provide, reach out to trusted family members and close friends.
Caring for your mental health benefits your entire family. When you feel supported and more balanced, you can better care for your baby and nurture your relationship.
If you’re struggling with postpartum depression and need additional support, we’re here to help. Contact our office to book a consultation and learn how therapy can support you during this important transition.