Depression and grief can feel quite similar, and figuring out how you’re really feeling can be a challenging process. But addressing grief and depression can look different in practice. While grief is a natural reaction to a loss, depression can spring from other sources. If you're grieving, it's natural to feel depressed. Yet not everyone who is depressed is grieving someone or something.
Maybe you’ve been suffering from potential symptoms of grief or depression for a long time, but you can’t quite put a name to your feelings. As a result, you feel lost when you consider what to do next. Here’s how a therapist can help you distinguish between grief and depression.
Grief Is a Response to a Loss
First and foremost, keep in mind that grief is a response to a loss. The loss does not necessarily have to be the death of a loved one. You can grieve after a divorce or breakup, the loss of a job, moving away from a place you love, or a medical diagnosis. However, grief is always triggered by losing something meaningful to you. This is one of the key factors that separates grief from depression.
Maybe you do feel a sense of loss, but you haven’t been able to pinpoint what happened. Your therapist can help you determine if you’re grieving something that people might overlook, such as a friendship ending or giving up on a lifelong goal.
Mixed Emotions
Grief can bring mixed emotions. It’s not just characterized by sadness. Grief can also stir up anger, uncertainty, and regret over things left unsaid. Someone who is grieving can still experience moments of genuine happiness and joy, but these moments might come as a surprise. They may even feel guilty when they enjoy something without their loved one.
Depression, on the other hand, often feels like being stuck in an emotional rut. You might feel acute sadness, but you also may feel completely flat or numb. It can seem like you’ve lost interest in the hobbies and activities you used to love, and your relationships don’t feel so fulfilling anymore. Grieving can also turn into emotional numbness, but it’s tied to a specific, unmistakable event.
Duration
Without support, treatment, or drastic lifestyle changes, depression can continue on with increasing severity for years. Grief can continue for months to years, but as time goes on, symptoms typically fade. This does not mean grief recovery is effortless. But when it comes to grief, time alone can lessen the pain of some wounds.
Where Are Your Feelings Directed?
When you’re living with grief, your feelings of sadness are connected to a particular loss, usually a person. Your sadness is associated with their absence. But when you’re depressed, your symptoms are usually directed to yourself. Self-criticism and self-loathing turn inward, while you direct grief outward, towards the person you miss.
The Experience of Regret
Both grief and depression can involve regret. But when it comes to grief, you might regret how you treated someone, or times when you worry you didn’t do enough to help them. Essentially, regret exists within connection to the relationship.
When you’re dealing with depression, regret typically revolves around actions you wish you had taken to help yourself, or improve your own life. You might regret a path not taken, and ruminating on missed opportunities could be fueling your symptoms. Often, a grief or depression therapist can help you chart a new course in life to let go of these regrets.
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Are you wondering whether you’re dealing with grief or depression? Get in touch with our practice to learn more about how the right therapist can help you find clarity.