Perhaps you and your partner have hit a rough patch, and you can no longer ignore some of the challenges in your relationship. You’re desperate for some guidance. But at the same time, you worry that going to see a couples counselor means admitting that you’ve “failed” in some way. Alternatively, you might have noticed some problems simmering under the surface that both of you are hesitant to address. Yet every time you consider suggesting counseling to your partner, you wonder if you’re overreacting.
There are so many myths about couples counseling that many couples who could genuinely benefit from working with a therapist hesitate to seek help. Let’s break down a few widespread myths about couples therapy and debunk these misconceptions.
Myth: Going to Counseling Means Your Relationship Is Over
Many people assume that if they’re going to couples therapy, their relationship is already “doomed.” It can seem like attending therapy sessions together is just a way to postpone an eventual breakup. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Choosing to go to couples therapy does not mean that you’ve already given up on your relationship. It means that you’re both committed to addressing the problems and that you hope to come out the other side stronger.
Myth: A Counselor Will “Side” with One Partner
Couples therapy is not about blaming one partner for every problem. Instead, both partners will need to acknowledge their shortcomings, take accountability for their mistakes, and change their behavior. A qualified couples therapist is not aiming to side with one partner or another. Couples therapy is all about making a mutual effort to change.
Myth: Only Married Couples Should See a Counselor
Maybe you’ve considered seeing a couples counselor, but you haven’t reached to any counselors yet because you’re not sure if your relationship is “serious” enough. Lots of people believe that couples counseling is solely reserved for married couples. They might think that a therapist will refuse to see them if they are not married to their partner.
But in reality, couples counselors work with unmarried couples all of the time! You do not have to hit a specific dating timeline before you can see a counselor. In fact, it can be a great idea to see a counselor before you get engaged, or prior to your wedding. You can still see a counselor even if you and your partner have no plans to get married.
Myth: You Shouldn’t See a Therapist Unless You’ve Hit a Relationship Crisis
Couples often put off seeing a therapist until their relationship has hit a breaking point. But you do not have to wait until your relationship is on the rocks to reach out to a counselor. You can go to couples counseling at any time. Some couples even choose to work with a counselor when things are going well, just to tune up their communication skills or prepare for challenges on the horizon, like welcoming a new baby.
Myth: It Will Take a Long Time to See Improvements Through Therapy
Perhaps you haven’t sought couples therapy because you’ve assumed that you won’t see improvements in your relationship for many months. It’s true that getting your relationship back on stable ground means a long-term investment of your time and energy. But you’ll often start to see the benefits of couples counseling within just a few sessions. This does not mean everything will feel “perfect,” yet small steps can make a big difference!
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Are you and your partner struggling with persistent relationship troubles? A couples counselor can show you a new perspective. Get in touch with us to learn more about your options for booking your first session.