If your child struggles with anxiety, it’s only natural that you’ll want to do everything in your power to protect them. You might be wondering how you can guard your child from these anxious feelings. Part of you knows that your child must learn how to handle challenging situations on their own. But another part of you doesn’t want to see your child nervous and overwhelmed.
As time goes on, going out of your way to prevent your child from encountering discomfort can enable their anxiety, making it worse in the long run. How can you tell if you’re enabling your child’s anxiety? Here are a few warning signs.
Speaking on Your Child’s Behalf
Sometimes, your child might be scared to speak up. For example, they may be nervous about ordering food at a restaurant. They may hesitate to ask questions when they’re confused about something.
In moments like these, when your child is having trouble expressing themselves and sharing their needs, you might feel like you need to step in. Instead, gently encourage your child to speak up. They will need to get comfortable with communicating in order to make themselves heard throughout their lives.
Avoiding Uncomfortable Situations
Adults with anxiety will often go out of their way to avoid situations that could be nerve-wracking. Children with anxiety will do the same. When you have anxiety, it’s only natural to become risk averse. But children need to start testing their independence and learning to take age-appropriate risks. This can be as simple as trying a new activity and introducing themselves to a new friend.
If your child is always trying to avoid unfamiliar situations, it’s important not to make excuses for them. You may want to try new things together and talk through their fears instead. However, allowing them to stay home will only serve to enable their anxiety. They may struggle even more with socializing in adulthood as a result.
Protecting Your Child From Consequences
Your child might be anxious about making mistakes. But mistakes and failure are just normal parts of life. Yes, it’s normal for children to worry about disappointing others, or stress about whether they’ll get in trouble.
When your child misbehaves, you might worry about the effect that disciplining them will have on their anxiety. It’s still important to follow through, and explain that consequences don’t mean your child is bad, but learning to deal with consequences is simply part of life.
Giving Too Much Reassurance
Perhaps your child has told you that they’re anxious about something. It could be a test in school, a game for a sport they play, or a performance. Of course, you’ll want to reassure them that they will be fine.
Children need lots of reassurance, especially when they’re trying something new for the first time. But going overboard when it comes to reassurance can inflate your child’s expectations. If they expect things to go perfectly, they might be let down when reality does not play out the same way.
Not Giving Your Child Responsibilities
If your child is anxious, you don’t want to push them too hard. However, you still want to give them responsibilities so that they can build resilience over time. For children, handling small responsibilities, like taking care of minor chores and completing their homework, can help build confidence. Let your child handle basic responsibilities around the house so that they can learn valuable skills and see what they’re capable of.
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Do you suspect that your child is suffering from anxiety? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling their first session for anxiety therapy.